What Do You Want?

 When we examine our lives we may think things will never change. The daily grind can just seem overwhelming. But honestly, we have the ability to change anything at anytime. Circumstances may not change but how we see them, how they affect us, we can surely, always change. We've been given a wonderful gift, that of free will. We also have been given the ability to shape our life and outlook. We are creators just sure as our God. Daily we create with our words and our thoughts and actions. Interesting, true, so if you don't like the picture, change it. 

It's funny how most of my life I thought things had to go a certain way. The things that happened to me were hard pills to swallow some times. So you keep moving and trying. Life became humdrum. I guess listening to friends and others their lives were pretty much the same. Until, I was told this glorious truth which I shared. 

I'll be honest, I don't live in a dream world. I am still affected by stuff, I call it stuff, because I can't let them make me hard or bitter or crazy. I choose life. I choose happy. I choose peace. Let's work on changing our lives by our thoughts, words and actions. It is possible. 

I love these words by Dr. Wayne Dyer. Greater things are ahead. Whatever your situation now, please don't be the victim any longer, dream and create a brighter future, you're worth it.

Sometimes in a effort to think we have control over our lives or indeed aren't as vulnerable as we may feel, we pull away from the people, and the things that can really help us, or at least give us equilibrium as we finds the answers we seek.

In actuality, we are not in control over our lives, not if we are trusting the Divine Spirit to guide us in timing and decisions, and working simultaneously behind the scenes orchestrating the fruition of our words, thoughts, and actions.

We are given gifts, family, friends, partners, spouses even pets that give our lives meaning, and can if circumstances are optimum enrich us by giving us a sense of value. In the converse, when things are not optimum, those same ones can be the source of much pain, and unless we learn how to move past it, we will stay under the spell of that pain for years to come.

Let us not confuse the two; those who are for us and those who are against us. And don't let stubbornness or pride be the instruments we use to do so.

Pain and difficulty come to all. The thing is to learn from them, gain strength, mercy, perseverance, and thankfulness for enduring, and move on to share your lessons with those willing to hear, and be patient with those that must learn on their own.

Life is a series of change, test, and growth. Some pleasant, some no so pleasant. The trick is to realize that the Universe is conspiring in your favor. If you can see that you are a pupil, ever growing, learning, changing, becoming the best version of You, eventually you will become the master of your life, and with joy enjoy those gifts, as well as the blessedness of silence and meditation, and prayer.

Namaste on your Journey.

Words and thoughts are things, and become habits, mindsets, 

and belief systems that can create our destiny. 

Use them wisely!!!

I've  shared some of my story before

, and this being Mental Health Awareness Month, I hoped to share a little more. Short of telling you my whole story, let me start by saying I had a great family, good parents, good siblings. There was a lot of change and things that came from outside that affected me early on. I also had some wonderful teachers, very supportive. If it had not been for all of this, I might not being sharing with you now.
I had always felt like the oddball, the black sheep, because my beliefs were a little different. My family were kind, but very fundamental. The only one who got me was my Mom. She died from a brain tumor just before my 40th birthday, just before I bought my first home, just a little while before I met, what I believed to be, my true love.
Within a few years, stuff happened (Life), and it was clear the dream was over. Then I lost my job, my home, my vehicle. By now I'm 50, over qualified, and in the middle of the economy downturn of the early 2000's.
Moved 7 times in 7 years, staying with friends, and frienemies. Then my Dad had a stroke and got hit by a train, and lived for 3 months. 18 months later, and 3 weeks apart, I lost both of my sisters to cancer.

I'm still here!!! At first I went through the "Why me?" stage, and then after all the crying, and trauma, Two of my best friends pushed me to get help. Two years ago I was diagnosed with Acute PTSD (many triggers). Through meditation, counseling, and time, I have realized that the things/people that hurt me or didn't understand me couldn't hurt me anymore, unless I let them, even the ones that are not in the seen realm any longer. Also, I believe that because I was open to spirituality, the universe, and seeing outside the box, I am finding my purpose.
If we don't evolve, we revolve, or keep going through the same things. I am evolving. Getting stronger, happier. Learn to forgive yourself and others. Don't let them rent out space in your head. Learn to love yourself, there is a reason you are here. Believe it!

Crisis of Faith or Crisis of Conscience

Growing up during the baby boomer generation had it's kinder, gentler times. News and tragedy was not in your face 24/7. As a whole it appeared people were more respectful of their elders, their teachers, their leaders, their parents, and their neighbors. Most everyone in the United States was an immigrant directly, or a few generations removed, so while there may not have been an understanding of each one's culture, and least most could live in peace without harassment. I know, however, in some parts of the country, and among some factions intolerance has always been a factor. Sadly, as I grew up in church, I began to observe a growing awareness that the greatest intolerance was among people who called themselves "Christians", which to me had always indicated, "Christlike". Much to my surprise, and concern, I was increasingly finding this not so with all, really most. 

At one point I decided to study to become a pastor, hoping myself to become more "Christlike", and try to make a difference. I loved studying about fundamentals of faith, history of religions, etc. The one thing I noticed with my study was a commonality, as opposed to the demonization of other religions I was taught by my own. Different was frowned upon. Now, to even more complicate things, I'm gay. When I was 4 years old, I had my first crush, but it did not stop there.  My parents were wonderful people. I had great marriages around me, and great male role models, I just was never wired that way. When I went to Bible College is when I found out just how intolerant people who profess to walk in love could be. 

After being expelled, not once, but twice, and sent home in shame to basically grieve my "sins" in sackcloth and ashes, I shut myself off for a while. I attended church, minimally participated, and watched. After a few ugly church splits, preachers being treated like heretics because that were more inclusive, and people running things like they wanted, I left. I began a journey that took a few years, a few churches, and a few states to cross to come to the place in spirit, and mind that I am now. 

I am a spirit, and I live in a body, and if I am allowing myself to be led by love, I will not exclude anyone. If I believe that ALL were created by God, and came out from Adam who was created from the dust of the earth, then I must conclude that ALL people are just different shades of clay, but One Spirit. Even if our backgrounds, cultures, languages, belief systems are different, we ALL came out from God. The word "NAMASTE" means, "The sacred in me honors, the sacred in you". Ethnicity, orientation, culture are NOT things we choose, we are born into them. I am not the judge, I am a Spiritual Being, created to walk in LOVE. It will all get sorted out. Different is not bad, sometimes it moves us out of comfort zones, to examine how much we really do love ALL people, how much we embrace the concept of "NAMASTE". 

Yes, change what you can about yourself, about your world, and injustice you may see. You can vote, you can rally, you can write your congressperson, but when it comes to changing anyone else, assaulting them for their beliefs, their body, their culture, watch out! If LOVE is not your motivation, you may have crossed a line. 

Find your path, I can't do that for anyone else but myself. To ALL people, I wish you PEACE, and I say, "NAMASTE".

Normal has changed, at least for me. Society, work ethic, common sense, common courtesy, certainly have changed. Communication, "love thy neighbor", even has changed. So much of life seems to have become an oxymoron. It is hard some days to tell what and who are real, and what is merely reality TV. I like real, I like integrity. I value honesty, and some other seemingly archaic values. 

I was blessed to grow up with an extraordinary family. I did not say they were perfect people, only good  people who thought of others often before themselves, and worked hard, and were kind, compassionate human beings. that in itself is rare these days indeed. I am reminded of Christ words in Matthew 12, where He asked, "Who are my Mother, and my brother?'' He answers His own question with, "they that do the will of My Father, they are my Mother, and my brother". 

Today where war, hatred, in the form of prejudice of all types, that incite violence by music, movies, TV, media, or government of any kind, anywhere, and make money off of it, trying to convince us that this the new normal, I have a problem with that. 

I seem to remember that the will of the Father had something to do, not primarily with those Ten Shalt Nots in The Old Testament, but the Two Shalts in the New Testament, namely, "Thou shalt love the Lord thy God, with all your heart, soul, and strength, and thy neighbor, as thyself." 

Why are we still fighting wars thousands of years old, or causing new ones? I'm thinking if we did the Two, we'd do better keeping the Ten, but as 1 Corinthians 13 tells us too, Love is the greatest of all. 

In my world, and hopefully in the world, Love can become normal. It starts with me, it starts with you! Let's do it! Let's make Love, Mercy, Kindness, Tolerance, and Forgiveness, the New Normal!