Crisis of Faith or Crisis of Conscience

Growing up during the baby boomer generation had it's kinder, gentler times. News and tragedy was not in your face 24/7. As a whole it appeared people were more respectful of their elders, their teachers, their leaders, their parents, and their neighbors. Most everyone in the United States was an immigrant directly, or a few generations removed, so while there may not have been an understanding of each one's culture, and least most could live in peace without harassment. I know, however, in some parts of the country, and among some factions intolerance has always been a factor. Sadly, as I grew up in church, I began to observe a growing awareness that the greatest intolerance was among people who called themselves "Christians", which to me had always indicated, "Christlike". Much to my surprise, and concern, I was increasingly finding this not so with all, really most. 

At one point I decided to study to become a pastor, hoping myself to become more "Christlike", and try to make a difference. I loved studying about fundamentals of faith, history of religions, etc. The one thing I noticed with my study was a commonality, as opposed to the demonization of other religions I was taught by my own. Different was frowned upon. Now, to even more complicate things, I'm gay. When I was 4 years old, I had my first crush, but it did not stop there.  My parents were wonderful people. I had great marriages around me, and great male role models, I just was never wired that way. When I went to Bible College is when I found out just how intolerant people who profess to walk in love could be. 

After being expelled, not once, but twice, and sent home in shame to basically grieve my "sins" in sackcloth and ashes, I shut myself off for a while. I attended church, minimally participated, and watched. After a few ugly church splits, preachers being treated like heretics because that were more inclusive, and people running things like they wanted, I left. I began a journey that took a few years, a few churches, and a few states to cross to come to the place in spirit, and mind that I am now. 

I am a spirit, and I live in a body, and if I am allowing myself to be led by love, I will not exclude anyone. If I believe that ALL were created by God, and came out from Adam who was created from the dust of the earth, then I must conclude that ALL people are just different shades of clay, but One Spirit. Even if our backgrounds, cultures, languages, belief systems are different, we ALL came out from God. The word "NAMASTE" means, "The sacred in me honors, the sacred in you". Ethnicity, orientation, culture are NOT things we choose, we are born into them. I am not the judge, I am a Spiritual Being, created to walk in LOVE. It will all get sorted out. Different is not bad, sometimes it moves us out of comfort zones, to examine how much we really do love ALL people, how much we embrace the concept of "NAMASTE". 

Yes, change what you can about yourself, about your world, and injustice you may see. You can vote, you can rally, you can write your congressperson, but when it comes to changing anyone else, assaulting them for their beliefs, their body, their culture, watch out! If LOVE is not your motivation, you may have crossed a line. 

Find your path, I can't do that for anyone else but myself. To ALL people, I wish you PEACE, and I say, "NAMASTE".