I don't have to be convinced nor do I have to convince anyone else that I'm in love. I've truly, only been in love with one woman my entire life and the more I try to think that will change the less it does. I love who she was, who she is and who she is becoming, probably because I love her at her core; who she really is without any sham, outside influences or bullshit! I've been deeply hurt by her and I got really angry like never before in my life and I scared myself and vowed never to allow myself to drink like that again where my emotions were out of control. Her love, respect and friendship are of the utmost value in my life.

I have no desire to date, I'm not a dater, I'm a lifer, and I will love her for life. Wherever our relationship goes from here is up to her and God. I just know there is not a day I don't wish I was waking up by her side. I miss her, and I miss my kids. Funny how the things that made you nuts when you didn't know how to figure it out, suddenly when it didn't matter if you figured it out, you realized how much you really did want and miss. I prayed for her and family, but pressures at that time made me stupid. God can I please have a do over?